Life Giving Love ~ Overcoming Woundedness
How Woundedness Affects Our Relationships
We all come from a family. Within our family of origin, our faith, opinions, needs, character, the way we argue and the way we show love, are formed for our future family. Sometimes we may question why God chose this particular family for each of us, but in the end trusting His will and the process is key. There is always fruit in the journey, a message in the mess and a test in the testimony. Sometimes we just have to look a little deeper. For the first 18 years of our lives (at least) many decisions are made for us and the outcome of our childhood is often out of our control; and as young adults, we may find ourselves feeling abandoned, rejected and confused. Some of the most common wounds of humanity are rooted in abandonment, judgment, control and loss. These wounds may cause friction in our future relationships if left unhealed. When the bandaid is unintentionally ripped off of a deep rooted wound, we may lash out at our spouse, a friend, significant other or a coworker. It is unfair and unjust to hurt someone close to us (or even a stranger) because of the wounds created by someone else, yet this is a common trend in our society today. We live in a broken world, but there is beauty in the brokenness. We just have to seek it out and choose to mend what is broken, particularly when discerning and preparing for our future vocation.
Overcoming Woundedness in a Broken World
I strongly encourage you to get to know your wounds. Knowing our wounds allows us to know when we are triggered and to master the ability to ‘practice the pause’ instead of react from the wound. My husband and I both come from divorced families and he also endured a divorce prior to our relationship. Many days have presented challenges for both of us to live from a place of healing in our marriage and not from a past wound. Together, we have sought out marriage mentoring and spiritual direction, like minded friends in the pursuit of heaven, and a deepened spiritual life that we share with one another and our daughters. We have found that the love of God the Father is greater than any broken love we have endured in this earthly life. Regardless of where our journey began, with Gods grace, a bit of courage and a lot of perseverance, we have the ability to rewrite the script in pursuit of a happy, holy ending.
“A vocation isn’t formed in a vacuum. It is formed in a family first, then in community.”
~Deacon Alex Lancon, Diocese of Lafayette, La
There is a great gift to unveil in the community around us. Finding strong, faith driven, virtuous couples to do life with is one of the greatest gifts you will give your marriage. This is where we see the phrase ‘iron sharpening iron’ come to life. These friends challenge us to be a better version of ourselves, better spouses and a better father or mother. We serve together, we pray together, we grieve together. We do life together with Christ at the very center of our lives. The greatest desire for my husband and I is that we provide a beautiful witness to our daughters and those they invite into our lives. We have found redemption in striving to provide a happy, holy, healthy home for our family in spite of our woundedness.
Uniting Our Wounds with the Sacred Wounds of Christ
We find healing and redemption in the wounds and heart of Christ. When we experience Love, we experience healing. Our wounds are brought forth and we discover that even in our woundedness, we are deeply loved. When we encounter the grieving sacred heart of Jesus, in our brokeness and allow His mercy and love to heal us, we are redeemed.
“The piercing nail has become a key to unlock the door, that I may see the good will of the Lord. And what can I see as I look through the hole? Both the nail and the wound cry out that God was in Christ reconciling the world to himself… Through these sacred wounds we can see the secret of his heart, the great mystery of love.”
St. Bernard of Clairvaux
What are your wounds? Name them. Get to know them. Be not afraid. Now, counteract these wounds and the lies they have caused with the Truth. God loves you and his love has the ability to heal any wound, no matter how vast, if you allow it.
Please visit Witness to Love’s Resource page for more information: https://witnesstolove.org/resources/